THE WRATH OF VIRUS

Okay, I don’t have time to post my blog real-time so let’s just pretend that I posted this yesterday.

I’m excited to finish this day’s duty because tomorrow, September 6, is my day off. As you all know, my rest day is the most precious day for me, and of course, for everyone because it only comes once in a blue moon. Well, not literally once. It’s like finding a pearl in a small clam, or a diamond in the dust, or however you might interpret something that happens rarely. Rest days comes after six or seven days, or worse, eight days, which I’ll be having next week. Even if I’m feeling very sick with this cold that I’m having accompanied with allergic rhinitis and dry cough, I dragged my feet to go to work.

I need to go early to the bank today to deposit money. The sky is turning gray, showing impending signs of rain. I feel deaf. I don’t have my skirt in the conveyor. My mucus keeps on wanting to escape my huge nostrils, and little mosquitoes inside my nose tickle its linings. I tapped my ID to the scheduler machine, and to add up to the list of worse scenarios in my life, I’m on a very dangerous game.

Today, I was assigned on a very sensitive matter. The machine. Once you go wrong, all the bosses will go down the floor, and you’re screwed up, worse, your career will be over. There is no room for mistake in the machine. Once you pressed the button, the mass get paid.

I struggled for the first hour, waited for my reliever, and then went straight to the clinic. Of course, stupid doctor of our clinic won’t let me home with just some stupid colds and rhinitis. He’s so damned strict! I hate the clinic! The white lines of it, the smell, the stupid particular doctor of this shift, expect for the cute nurse who asked me why I was blooming. What do you think I am? A flower? They want me to take antihistamine! Damn! You all know what that means right? Dizziness and sleepiness. Why would I take it? I was trying to be reasonable here! The doctor wants me to take it, but the nurse is quite against it. Yeah right, we have the same idea. I refused to take it. I want to work wide awake, not half brain dead! I have a good night sleep, then what would that be for?

After I took the medication for the colds, (no didn't take the antihistamine), I went back to my manager and asked her if she could transfer me to a nonsmoking area or elsewhere, (I was thinking shuffle room, since I don’t feel like doing anything). Ma’am Imelda was very nice to have put me in the shuffle room.

I badly want to go home, just lie down in my bed, have a cup of hot cappuccino on my bedside table. I applied for early out today before my shirt started. So every time the phone rings, I look straight to the manager, expecting. Half nervous and half excited, only to find out, no, it isn't about me. I look like a dog seeing a bone and suddenly it was gone away from me, with that, I pity myself.

Time passed. 630 PM. Still there was no signs. I took my second break.

Then when I come back, still expecting, the nothing. I waited till 8. Maybe they will let me out by then, because new staffs will be starting their shift at this hour. Still no.

9PM, still hoping.

10PM, I stopped expecting.

After eight hours of what feels like a hundred years inside that incubator, five minutes before 11PM, we were dismissed. Not bad.

And I swore never to go to work when I feel sick. I will never drag myself again!

Got home early, and was happy to see food on the table! I’m starving.

One Day in Casino

For your information, I was trained to deal the game Super Six Baccarat, Three Card Poker, Casino Stud Poker, Casino War and some minor games I don’t mind telling (not important). I was upgraded a few months ago, and was trained to deal the Baccarat in which you deduct five percent to the player’s winning if they bet on Banker’s side, and I was also trained the game of Blackjack, or more commonly known as 21. 

For more information about the game, just type it in Google. I don’t have the whole page for training amateurs.

Since my major game was Baccarat, that’s where I started to get the feelings that I’m not a human. Players would blame me if they lose. I don’t fucking care with your money! And I’m not the fucking one to blame! You are just simply unlucky when we met. Here goes my story of everyday life in the casino.

It’s Monday. I think. I don’t know which date it was anymore, I've been working for seven straight days. Nope, I’m not hardworking; it’s just that that’s really the way it is here, in our casino. You’re lucky enough to be working for just five or six days, minimum is seven days. Some even work for eight or nine straight days. Before, we work maximum of eleven days a week. Even a week doesn't have eleven days, right? And my colleague would often tell me, even God, rested on the seventh day He made the world, right? But that was long before, good thing they changed their ways (in the stupid scheduling department). The max now is eight. We were asked to report early today, instead of three o’clock in the afternoon, at two, because there will be a fucking power shut down. So meaning, I have to go to work by one o’clock to fucking put my make-up, in which my face is staring to age, and do my stupid hair bun, which exposes my bare forehead. I feel naked without my bangs!

Bangs are no longer allowed when we had that stupid, very stupid hair and make-up training. I wasn't willing to attend but we were forced to. And you’re dead if you didn't.

I have one player seated on the table when I got there in the VIP part of the casino. Well, as usual, I feel jittery with the tax, because I wasn't really confident and to be honest, I’m really not a good count. Before I go to work, I pray to have a kind hearted inspector, easy betting from players, and no Banker winnings. The player was nice, until… one old fat Chinese bimbo came over to my table and BANG! Banker wins consecutively. Seriously, could this day get any worse? He was kind of lucky. They bet and bet, confusing bets, (Rolling as they call it; in which whatever you won, you put on top of you bet. So every deal, the bet gets higher. And confusing.)

Just to give you an example. Player bets 10, 000 on Banker. If it wins, I’ll deduct five percent from his winning, so I’ll just pay him 9500. He can give me part tax, 500. Then I’ll give him 10, 000. Or he can give me 1,000, and I’ll pay him 10, 500. And when he adds some more, like if he “rolls” it, he would have bet, 19, 500. So what is the tax? I don’t know. I based it on chip reading. Let me imagine it… the tax would be… 975. So I have to pay him… 25 … 525… 18, 525. Am right? . . . Just checked the calculator. Yes, right. See how hard it is? But once you get to it, I know that we can do it! (Just like Dora’s song!)

And this crap old Chinese bloke keeps betting 100, 000 etc. He wants the table in it’s maximum! Crap! And when he loses one deal, he would say he’s jinxed. Hello, sir?! You already won a lot. You’re a greedy helpless gambler geriatric crackpot!

And please, can we take it slow? Don’t be in a hurry. There are lot more players that wants to bet. And this isn't your table. It’s everyone’s table. If you want, go ahead and ask for a reservation. It’ll be all yours I promise.

Good thing my inspector was okay, he smiles a lot and quite friendly. There was just a little problem with his “S” sound, which I find funny. I can’t joke about it with him; he might get offended and wouldn't help me with my tax. Every shoe (a shoe is a set of eight decks of cards, shuffled) has a long banker. My gosh! Would this day end? I hope this day would be over.

The bloke was already gone, after a few loses. The man on my table, who started my shift making me worry when he will go, stayed. I never got enough time to breathe! Even relationships have enough space, but me? I don’t. Crap! I was violently abused that day!

He was nice, but he keeps on losing. Man! You know what’s on my mind? I really wanted you to win, because you’re not that bad! He still smiles even if he loses. His friend came and we finished another shoe. “Shuffle” – this word is so stressful! I asked if I could rest, jokingly, but the friend said “He will go home by 9pm.” I thought okay, that was fine, I have an hour to rest.

That was a thought… But it never happened!

I checked the time, it was 9… And 9:10, he was still there. 9:30… Still dealing. 945. Crap, I’ll never get the rest I deserve. And 10pm, okay, just waiting for someone to change me. And the shoe was done. Gosh! Marking the cards and the man said he’s finished. And the next dealer is standing right behind me. God! I never get the chance to rest! And the lucky dealer sat there, smiling. Cursed him!

Weird Dreams : July 29, 2013

So, my shadow hunting dreams continued on… It was not quite precise as to what I was reading, because of course, it was a dream, but still I want to keep track of weirdness in my mind.

There she was standing in between of what seems like a church and a ballerina dance studio. The wide place looks very old, rusty and the white paint that coats the edge of the windows were already shredding itself apart. There are no lights, or candles to give illumination to the pending darkness of the night. It was probably around five o’clock in the afternoon. There was no furniture inside. It has one door on the right far corner of the room. The gap between each window was not that big which made it possible to put in a lot of windows on each side of the room.

The name was Sebastian, I thought. The name was of a man, but the figure that came out was of a woman. A woman named Sebastian, who killed a lot of people, and was being chased by us, Shadow hunters. I can’t remember the way she was dressed. We were in the middle of the room which was a few steps away from the window. I slashed my silver whip on the windows, with my gaze still focused on her, and the glass came shuttering. Glass shards flew to Sebastian, and she shrieked. Her eyes full of anger and revenge. Still shocked from seeing the length of the whip, she took a step and, noticing she was about to kill me, I ran as fast as I can. The room is quite large but not large enough to run farther and hide. Somehow, she caught me and held my by the waistband. She was trying hard to reach out for something inside me, which I think was my heart or my intestines, to kill me. The feeling was like the feeling I thought vampires would have when someone was trying to remove their head on the movie Twilight Saga. The feeling was an impending death. I tried hard to release myself from her gasps but she was too strong. I keep on moving so she couldn't get into my heart, and finally someone yanked her from behind.

Then I woke up suddenly in a room almost the same as in reality, except for the wide glass window beside the door. I was in a floor I couldn't figure out but obviously high. Looking down the window, the place outside looks like it was on fire. It was orange red and as if a war has broken down. And there he was, the true Sebastian, wearing shadow hunter gear. He was probably at the entrance of the place I was sleeping at. He was with the others, named Jace, Isabelle and Alec. They were hunting me. I thought they were allies but how come these three were with Sebastian?

An old lady came soundlessly and said that I should pretend to be asleep, or else Sebastian would kill me. And that he always visits me at dawn in my sleep. How long have I been sleeping? The old lady told me that he wouldn't dare kill me while sleeping, but if he sees me now, wide awake, with no hesitation, he would.

Then the scary feeling of just having a nightmare came pouring over me. 

My Life in the Casino

“Oh God. This is slow! I hope the line gets over!”

“Damn, you know I really want you to win. It’s just that you’re not lucky.”

“Stop playing please. You’re losing and I want to rest.”

“Dragging my feet to go back to my table.”

“Why is it slower waiting for five minutes than an hour?”

These are the words that come into my mind whenever I’m working. I realized that I have been putting up imaginative sentences in my mind, pretending that that certain moment is written in a book, be it important or not. I decided to put it into writing so I could make a sense out of it. Instead of pretending to be a journalist, or a true award-winning novel writer, writing stories that I cannot finish, I would just blog about this: MY LIFE AS A DEALER.

Nope, I’m not a dealer of drugs, or a member of a syndicate, or someone who’s involve in networking businesses that call themselves as dealers. I am, no other than, a casino dealer. Yep, you’re right! Casino. I’m not a gambler myself, because to be honest, (and we’re not allowed to gamble, our license will be revoked!) I don’t even know what the games are before I started working as a dealer. I realized I haven’t talked about my current job that much, and more and more friends are asking me what is it like.

So here are the answers! All you have to do is stay tuned on my blog, read, and you can decide whether you like it or not!

Let me start by saying, being a dealer in the casino is HARD. You don’t think we like what we’re doing, do you? Well, as for me, I didn't know what I was applying for that day. My mind was really into the Food and Beverages Department. Well, actually, it was my sister’s idea. She said they wear cute shorts and long sleeves shirt. So I was dragged along into the stupid idea. When I was in the initial interview, I said it and the recruitment person told me that I was overqualified for that position (Nursing graduate here!). It turns out, my sister was the one who wants that but not in the company I was working for right now. Anyway, this isn't about her. I don’t want to get into detail about the interview, long wait, how I landed the Junior Dealer job position. I think the lady applied me for VIP Host, but then I didn't fully pass the Language Assessment for Korean Speakers (hey! I got 3 out of 6! Not bad! And they even commended me for having good writing skills). The VIP Host Manager (Ms. Ana) who interviewed me was really nice, she didn't know how to write or read, and she just knows how to speak, so she turned me over to the noisy bunch of Korean employees. 

Step 1 is Initial Screening where they check your height, the job position you were applying for. It’s just a very informal interview that lasts for about 10 minutes. If you passed Initial Screening, you proceed to HR Interview. You will wait for a couple of hours for your turn.

Step 3, the Language Assessment, which was just for special and talented ones like me, who’s multi-linguist. If you passed, I don’t know, because I didn't, which I heard her on that day that she would recommend me for Table Games department. And that’s how I landed this crap. And I was given extra Language Premium Allowance because they were amazed by my effort.

I was wearing my Chuck’s when I attended the last shit interview. I was so tired of being so formally dressed and end up, sweating hard and having leg pains from heels. My attention was called by the assistant because of it. I told her, “Would I just leave? It’s OK, really.” But, to God’s surprise, I got interviewed A.S.A.P. by the Training Manager, who was very nice! I bow down to her kindness! I shall name her, she’s Ms. Percy. She didn't really scold me from wearing it, just went to the interview right away. Actually, it isn't like an interview, because we just told each other’s life stories, which lasted for about, an hour or more I think. She even thought me the techniques on the exam about Blackjack and getting five percent of something. After the interview, I joined the other employees to take the exams. After the exam, they were instructed to wait for an hour for the interview proper. And I was able to go home early because I was done with the interview.

I think I was brought by God on this job, because He had done everything with His own hands. And if you were wondering, yes, I am still receiving the additional Language Allowance without using it. I don’t use the language that much, sometimes, if I just feel like it. It isn't really required, and not so many people know about it. I was being paid extra for nothing, it’s like that.

It’s been a year and five months now, still working in the same company. Actually, to be honest, I don’t really think I am going to last that long on one company. I am usually AWOL-ing. And now, I am writing my story in this blog, and hoping it would someday end up in award-listings of I-don’t-know category.

My life starts… on the next one.

Weird Dreams: July 30, 2013

PART 1

All of the people inside the dark enclosed space that looks like a garage were going wild. Everyone is panicking because the place was about to be shut down by some muscle man guy. He was in front of the machinery that was long and thick, the size of a rocket launcher. He pressed something and the machine emitted a blue light on its side and he was laughing while he does it. Everyone was thinking that the guy will suffocate them into darkness but the doors opened up and everyone went running.

Everyone was running. I was also running for my life, when the atomic bomb that hangs on somewhere was dropped by a stupid person. It hits the floor and explodes. I backed down and jumped and felt the hot smoke burned my skin, and everything turned black.

PART 2

My best friend and I were walking on a street going somewhere, which in my dreams, I was familiar with. She was leading the way and was so scared of the people. It was dark and the place has a Spanish-inspired look to it. The walls of the houses and buildings were bluish because of the twilight that was kissing the day. There were detailed carvings and has termites and moss on its walls that made it look like the establishments were really old. Even the people of that place was old, they look like zombies. They were dirty and moves slowly. People were wearing Spanish outfits, and some has dirty worn out clothes. A kid with pity eyes approached us and my best friend was so scared of it. We weren't even sure if she is a girl or a boy. It was begging for money. We ignored her and hurried over to one street. It was a dead end, but on our left side, there were small houses that have a narrow aisle. We went into the aisle and found another small house. There he was. He was a very famous artist before, but there he was, lying on a dirty bed, on a slum area. He still looks like a prince but small and fat, like a teddy bear. I was telling him he was famous before but look at him now. He stood up and went outside a huge opening that looks like a park. I thought he was in love with me but the truth is he was with another girl. The best friend was out of sight. He kissed a girl on a park and he felt good. A fairy on the other side of the park flew butterflies and sparks and removed the curse from him. So that’s it, he has to kiss the girls he loves to remove a kiss. We didn’t even know he was cursed that’s why he looks like that. He came back to his old good-looking face and we were very happy for him. Although, there was a little jealousy I feel for the girl.

-End of the story-

PART 3

The bomb made a terrible destruction on the place. It was dark; no electricity was able to survive it. It was afternoon, and the sun had set meaning it will go total darkness. I can’t remember why I was on my way to find my older sister. I saw her and she lend me her gray jacket that has red sleeves that has a print on the back I don’t remember. It looks like the MVP jacket players use on their after-game. The jacket was very tight on the wrist so I removed it and went back to her room to put it back. It was dark now, and the house we live in looks like a dormitory. Her room was as usual as it looks like, messy and clothes thrown everywhere. I saw her cabinet and put the jacket back. I was a few steps way out when I realized I wasn't able to close the doors of her cabinet because there was resistance. I tried to close it and saw a shadow inside; a man struggled out of the cabinet and without realizing that my sister was in door of her room, hit her. She hit the floor and the man ran away. I followed him but he was fast. He looks like he was infected of something ill. My sister was unconscious. I told our leader and he said we should be ready. There might be a war. I realized I was a Shadow hunter in my dream. We were in what looks like a lobby, there was a huge stairs going down the main lobby. Now it made it look like a castle. My mother said, “You would need this.” She handed out an orange circular rubber that has a loop on it, made to put on your finger. I asked her how to use it and it turned out to be some kind of a witch light. This is what a witch light looks like? I wonder. You would put it on the center of your finger and palms facing up, the light comes out of the circle. I pressed it in the middle and a faint light that’s not enough to illuminate the dark room came pouring out.

“I should be ready.” I told myself. My cousins and I went into one room. We checked out the place and the things that we can use for in a battle. The light that comes out of the witch light I was holding was so faint, it irritates me. I don’t see a thing. The light doesn't work for a total darkness of the place. I was so scared of the darkness because what happened to my sister might happen to me too. I checked on the cabinet and saw boots, another cabinet has black clothes. And since I was just wearing my worn out t-shirt used for sleeping and the jacket, miraculously I was still wearing it, I decided to change on a Shadow hunter gear: all black and tight. I also told one of my cousins to get changed because the owner of the room was obviously a girl and the same size as theirs.

We were on our way downstairs; it was so dark that I can see shadows pouring out of one side going to the stairs. I thought they were enemies, but looking at them closely, they were to be trusted and they are the ones who are going to lead us on the war. Someone hugged me at my back, feeling the warmth of someone you know, at the same time, feeling the last hug that you might have because you might end up dying on a big war. Jason. He whispered, “They were cloaked.” Looking at the shadows closely with my faint light, they were wearing red thin velvet clothes. They were leading us down the hall, a bunch of Shadow hunters, and stopped for a moment. Jason hugged me tight and told me “I have a crush on you.” I couldn't believe him. I was shocked and said “Really? I didn't know that.” Then we hugged each other. He was smiling. Then the war started.

I WOKE UP.

Weird Dreams : July 21, 2013

And yet, she dreamed again. About water. It was afternoon but the gloomy weather made it look like it was dawn. It's not cloudy and doesn't show signs that it's going to rain. It's just dark. She was with some people she didn't know. They were invited in some kind of a party. In order to get to the house where the party is being held, they have to cross the waters. In the huge perimeter of the shallow water, there were small floating lands scattered. She walked in the waters, knowing she wont drown, she hit some grass under and her feet went deep down under. She felt her heart jumped a little as the waters hug her body up to her scapula. "They said the water is just shallow?" she thought. But she heard a man speak "Only some part of it" and a huge hand appeared and picked her up on her shirt from the deep water that soaked her from the bra line down her body. She didn't see how big it was but she sensed it was for being able to pick her up on her shirt using one hand. The hand put her on a little island. So that's the purpose of those elevated lands. If you're anywhere near them, it signifies deepness. You just have to hop island to island. At least, this time, someone had saved her in her dreams. She gave it a thought when she woke up. A hand that she needs for the past dream appeared but didn't show its rightful owner. But she thinks the great size signifies great power, which is God. The Hand was God.

Weird Dreams: July 4, 2013

I've been having weird dreams and let me tell you, these are really creepy dreams that our crazy minds do when we are in a very deep sleep. I decided to keep a journal of my dreams in this blog of mine and I want to take you to my life when I am unconscious...



It was a beautiful sunny day but with an instant, the day became so dark and gloomy. The weather made her so sad and almost want to cry. She was looking for her best friend and her mother who have left her without a single word. She wondered why. She looked at the sea, and the people around it looked alarmed and panicked. She saw a familiar guy, but he didn't notice or maybe, pretended not to see her, she wasn't sure. But he brought up his motorcycle into a roar and sped up. Rain has started and people start to evacuate. She could hear screams of fear. She did notice the water going higher above its normal level. She was at the wide road of cement with posts of light that stand in the middle. She thought she can hold on to it if nature provides a strong unfortunate wave and wind. She saw where her best friend might be; on her left side, there was a little nipa hut, made of very soft and easily destructable material floating in the water. She thought she would risk her life and find her, but then she thought "Water. It's what scares me most. I will die. Water. It scares me. If ever I'll die, it would be of water." After going back to her senses, a huge wave swallowed her up. She was not ready so she didn't get enough reserved air. At first she thought it was just temporary and the water will go back to where it belong. She would just hold her breath. Until it went higher and higher, and that little air she reserved is no longer enough to swim through the fast growing water. She thought there would be a hand that would reach out for her just like what she read in novels, but she thought, probably this is reality, and she was going to die. She gasped for air, and then again try to swim, until she gave up. She thought she could swallow some of the water and try to swim up, so she did. She held her breath for a moment, feeling desperate for not knowing how to swim and besides, she was deep down underwater. Then she closes her eyes and decide it is the end of it. She woke up palpitating so much that she can hear her heartbeat in her ears. Her pulse was frantic and it feels as if her heart wants to go out of the rib cage and grt some air and pump the blood it needed. It feels like she forgot to breathe and realize she needed to, then the heart feels it has to work hard to compensate for the loss of oxygen. The heart went into so much panic, she wondered what happened. The only weird thing about the after-dream is that she is not gasping for air and her body feels like she didn't move at all; it feels stiff. It's only the heart that was working hard not the lungs. Now she doesn't want to go back to sleep thinking of her phobia of the sea.